I like to think I am successful for my age. Not above average, not below average. I attend a college and maintain a high GPA, am involved in multiple clubs, and have made many amazing friendships.
Then I discover artists like Billie Eilish. A 17-year-old girl from Los Angeles with multiple Top Billboard tracks and sold out tours, Eillish is the epitome of young success.
But it’s not just her millions, yes 31,755,958 monthly listeners on Spotify, of fans who deem her such a young prodigy. She has been featured in Harper’s Bazzar, and was described as, “inches away from redefining pop stardom in 2019” by Billboard.
But, seen through Eillish’s dark and moody music, this amount of fame and success does not equal happiness.
Her music is described as dark and violent, with music videos setting the same tone. Her 2017 single “idontwannabeyouanymore” is no different.
The song, which peaked at number 2 on the U.S. Bubbling Under Hot 100 Singles, is a message, or even a breakdown, to herself. The “you” is being sung to her own reflection, wanting to be someone different than who she is.
Eillish even goes as far to address depression and sadness further than her own.
“If teardrops could be bottled / There’d be swimming pools filled by models”
No one is as satisfied with themselves as they wish to be. Not me with my modest accomplishments thus far in life, not Billie Eillish and her successes, or models, as beautiful as they may be. The want to be someone else is inevitable.
The opening lyric, “Don’t be that way / Fall apart twice a day” gives us a glimpse into the imperfect life that is Billie Eillish’s. This vulnerability is what draws her fans to her. The relationship that can be formed by being open and honest with someone goes further than just in conversation. Listeners feel a connection to Eillish through a common denominator: their pain.
The dissatisfaction with ourselves does not go away once success comes. It is a struggle that anyone in susceptible to.
Eillish’s “idontwannabeyouanymore” may not be an anthem of overcoming this self-hate, but it creates an atmosphere for listeners to feel less alone in their battle.
The Found of Music 